Tonight, I had a new experience. For the first time in my life I had to have friends drive me home after puking in the single-stall bathroom of a local bar. The story would probably be sexier for some of you if it involved even the least inkling of tawdry behavior but true to form I was actually there with a church group after a fairly mature day of cleaning, conversing and celebrating labor day with my neighmly (neighbor-family). I suppose the immature decision of the day was convincing myself that 5 mini-brownies pretty much equal the size of two normal brownies and let the record show, I have, on many occasions, eaten 2 brownies without any noticeable recourse from my body. But, I hear the only constant is change. So maybe I am just turning into the type of girl who can’t handle her chocolate.
OR maybe I am just turning into the type of girl who saves her blog writing until the very end of the weekend only to find that the end of the weekend always get highjacked by something else—on this particular occasion, it just happens to be vomit. So I promised some more tips in this next post and I want to be a woman of my word, unfortunately, for now the tips are going to have to be quick and dirty. Here goes:
Tip 2 as learned from my date with the musician.
Do NOT slam a door in your date’s face. I know it seems self-evident but if you are rusty enough I suppose it isn’t. My 1st date with the musician was great. No complaints. But on date 2 he started talking a lot of music jargon and became so enraptured with the musical set on the outdoor stage that he hardly noticed me follow him inside to throw my trash away. I was inches away from a broken nose and he was moments away from being placed in the “friend zone”. It all kind of makes me nauseous just thinking about it. No wait, that seems to be the brownies again.
My apologies for having written such a disgusting post, but you gotta write what you know--Ya know? Here's hoping this a one time occurence!
4 comments:
ugh, sorry you were sick!
Reminds me of that time a certain roommate of yours ralphed all over the bathroom of our tiny Stalinka. Which then of course reminds me of the time you went running to the shower to try and conceal your hysterical sobbing after watching "The Notebook" for the first time. Good times, good times. :)
Congratulations on Labor Day, by the way.
The title "Slamming Doors and Ralphing" really made me Iaugh. Although, I would also have accepted "Hijacked by Vomit."
Unless your musician date's name was Ralph, in which case this is SUPERB.
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