Sunday, February 13, 2011

Dia de los Enamorados

The Christian-memoir superstud Donald Miller (crush-o-mine), says that for him, the idea of having a father around-- all present and loving is quite like the idea of owning a dragon. It is a fascinating daydream arousing the curiosity and doubtless fulfilling a few other intellectual needs. But ultimately it is a “what if” and these particular sorts of what’ifs tend to be dead-ends, if we are all honest about it. And that is exactly what the ideas of love and marriage have become like for me. Occasionally someone who hasn’t known me long enough to have ever experienced me in a fugue of love or heartbreak will innocently ask if I have any desire for matrimony and all of its subsequent implications, and I think, “why, yes, that would be nice—as would the ability to becomes invisible or experience telepathy, so if you know anyone…”

I suppose that’s why I was so surprised in a conversation with Paltrow a few weeks back. We were having our weekly Bachelor debrief and then she told me about this poignant wedding she had attended over the holiday. “I just kept thinking about you” she said, and I assumed she meant there was someone there with unruly hair, or who showed up in flip-flops or some other nonsense like that. But she continued, “ I thought of you because I just know that is what your wedding will be like.”

And, I cried.


Shocking even myself.

Poor, delusional Gwyneth, I thought. Can’t she see that I am nearly thirty, dripping with neurosis and plagued by 3 of the world’s most speedily recurrent chin hairs? There is no santa, or toothfairy or husband for me. But the fact that she thinks there could be is overwhelmingly heartwarming. It is the kind of true love which sees the best of me and for me. And I have a lot of that these days.

And that is why I still love Valentine’s Day.

Earlier this week when I realized the Day of the Enamored was right round the corner I did a little (mental) jump of glee, because what it has really come to mean for me is a giggly girlfriend’s holiday where you believe the best for one another and treat each other better than any of your stupid boyfriends ever did. Instead of skulking in to that cleverly released rom-com like some single sinner on a field-trip to catch a glimpse of couplesville, you bound in wearing your best girl-power t-shirts and mocking the finesse-less inevitability of whatever kooky, happy-ending version of Romeo and Juliet is being pushed on this particular evening.


You imagine. For yourself and for all your single ladies, and all your married and trying to conceive ladies, and for all your pre-maturely widowed ladies. You imagine the best and most cliché and satisfying love affairs for the whole lot of you. And I’m not trying to bash reality, ‘cause I have had some real genuine moments of transcendental love in my life, and on most days, I wouldn’t trade them. But, the problem with real people and relationships is that you tend to lose control of the script you’ve written and that can be just as annoying as being single.

So, this Monday (and each day really) I encourage you to be thankful for what is still fictional and for what is real. Be lavish in your affections for everyone in whom you are delighted, regardless of gender or romantic-status. Tell someone expressly, explicitly what they mean to you and what you believe for them. And for God’s sake eat some chocolate covered strawberries. This holiday deserves to be celebrated if but for no other reason than the weeklong ubiquity of those juicy little wedding cake toppers.

At least I know there will be loads of them atop the cake at my wedding one day, right Paltrow?

Happy V- Day everyone, feel free to begin your unabashed affection giving right here in the comments section.

Kerri K.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Texas Our Texas

Many have claimed that there is no such thing as a stupid question and for the most part, I have agreed with this sentiment. But throughout my life, when someone has been audacious enough to ask me some version of this:

“What’s so great about Texas?”,

my commitment to the aforementioned philosophy has proved flappable. And, since there are those, fumbling through life unaware of how to properly answer such an elementary inquiry, I suppose I should share the most timely response here and now.

What’s so great about Texas is a little thing we like to call a “Snow Day”. I know other states have this procedure as well, but I think we do it best here. You see, two weeks ago I was wearing a sundress. As I sit and write this little PSA I am in a sundress. In between these bouts of free shouldered, flip-flop freedom has been a week of late-starts and snow days for me and my compadres throughout this the largest of the contiguous (aka “real”) states. So, in essence our philosophy (not to be confused with our motto which awesomely enough is: friendship) is this: “If you can’t wear a sundress to it, you might as well cancel it, stay in bed and pray for all your yankee acquaintances who are presently walking to their snow-covered school buildings despite the arctic blizzard that has taken the region hostage.

Some people complain about snow days implying that we are all going to be kicking ourselves on make-up day in May. Well Senor Glass-Half-Empty, you’re wrong. In May I am moments away from 6 weeks of summer break and I am coming to a job which is temperate and full of sun-kissed employees complimenting me on my newest sundress.

And obviously this is only the beginning, I’ve yet to mention Chicken Fried Steak, The Dallas Cowboys, Hill Country or Complimentary Queso at every other restaurant. So in conclusion, if you don’t live in Texas, I’m sorry. If you do hope you enjoyed some hot cocoa and family fun during arctic Blast 2011. And if you are looking for quotes (previously promised) from, about and adjacent to Brad Womack, Texas Bachelor click here.