Getting to Know You

The other day I was hanging out with 2 of my Neighbly kids talking about life and choices and relationships and as we chatted and questioned and laughed at one another a theme seemed to emerge in our conversation--which is to say they both think I am boy-crazy. I think this is hilarious since they have never actually seen me with a boy, but nevertheless they rated me just slightly more evolved than a junior high girl when it comes to my affections for gentleman.

I won't deny it.

I have said it before and I will say it again. I love boys from cradle to grave. They are gorgeous, hilarious and fascinating little creatures and I don't think I will ever fully get over their existence on the very same planet that I inhabit. What Luck!

That said, I am also pretty impressed with women (never fear this is not an  inapporopriately executed out of the closet type announcement) I'm just saying that there is this profound strength and beauty that eminates from so many of the women that I have admired, befriended, stalked, or mentored that it makes me want to know everything about them.

Out of this desire, I collaborating with 2 of my single-ladies from Angry Young Rockstars (our small group), created an "Interesting Lady Interview Form" last spring. We scheduled interviews with various women from our lives in an attempt to honor and to understand. It was an AMAZING process and I thought one worthy of sharing.

I think we live in an age and culture which is painfully remedial in its storytelling and in its discipleship efforts. We want efficiency (give me the high points of your narrative and move on) and we want to live in the illusion that our stories do not overlap. But they do!

Sooooo

 I know I am little late here (INTL Women's day was March 8th) but I encourage you to hear someone's story in the next week or so. Even if you think you know it. Take them out for coffee or a treat and you might be surprised how a new angle uncovers a gem or two.  If you want to use our format go ahead! If that seems overwhelming just choose one or two questions that peak your interest.  Try it out  and let me know:

1. How it went!
2. Any questions you added!
3. If you want to be interviewed!
Okay here goes!

Dear Interesting Lady,

You have been selected to be interviewed by a few female “rock stars” or so we have been called. Our selection method for this process is quite simple, to be interviewed you must be inspiring, and if you are reading this letter, then we have already decided that you are. Therefore, you should see this interview as a chance to be honored and nothing else. We want to sit at your feet and hear your story. Whatever story you tell is the one we have been waiting to hear. We realize that you are imperfect and we do not come to you expecting the formula for a pain-free life. We do suspect, however that you each have something to offer that might speak to us on own unique journeys. We are including a set of questions that we would be delighted to have you answer, but there is complete freedom in this process. Some interesting ladies will jump at the chance to give an opinion on each and every subject. Others will feel more drawn to a few inquiries and, of course, none of us can really plan the trajectory of our conversation, we can only ask that God will be among us in all of the silliness and seriousness. Look over the questions if you’d like, or ignore them if that is more your style. Thank you for having already inspired us. We can’t wait to have you all to ourselves!

Lady Rockstars

1. What is your Story? (This could be memoir-style, testimony, stand-up comedy)
2. Look at the topics below: What have you found to be easiest/loveliest/hardest/ugliest and most surprising about each area that applies to you?
-Work
-Children
-Marriage
-Christianity
3. Do you have a motto, mantra or life-verse?
4. If you are married what do you think initially made you fall in love with your husband?
5. What has kept you in love with him?
6. What have you most grown to love about yourself?
7. Who do you admire?
8. Finish this thought: “This I used to believe…”
9. What is the best advice you have ever received or given?
10. What question would you like to be asked?

Worst Wife Ever

I have been avoiding posts on showers (bridal not actual) for some time now due to the elevated numbers of friends who currently find themselves in nuptial preparation and realization (let me pause here to say that I feel I should be commended for selecting the word "realization" rather than cleverly using the word "execution" and thus subtextually aligning the action of sharing vows with something aggressive, depressing and undesirable. I will thus hold for your applause in absentia.)

I didn't want to say whiney and offensive things about these little celebrations whilst participating in them each weekend, but yesterday during my first (yes , first) shower of the day the bloggods sent such perfect manna style provision for this post, I feel it would be on some level unholy to continue my shower silence. And so I speak out.

Now, in defense of showers I will say that  the food is delicious (afterdinner mints, sausage balls and some kind of sherbet punch will never leave me dissatisfied)

Plus, any occasion to wear a cute dress cannot be all bad

Plus, I am in the 5-10% of the population who thoroughly enjoys most shower games. Give me a little Bride-Groom Trivia, some version of steal the clothespin, and a round of name that tune (love-song edition) and I am thrilled. Believe it or not, I have a competive edge.

Which is why, when Silverman's sweet aunt indicated that I would need a purse if I had any intention of winning the next game I declared loudly that I most certainly had every intention of dominating the next game and bolted out of the house to my car stopping only to grab a handful of refiller mints and a mini-quiche.

Out at my car I convinced myself that it would not be cheating to add a few more things to my purse since technically I treat my car less like a vehicle and  more like an oversized purse than most individuals.  I proceded to throw in an extra novel, a pen, a half consumed soda and a screwdriver because I seemed to remember this game probably had to do with who could provide the zaniest or largest amount of items from their own bag. Those other suckers inside were toast!  They probably don't even have one melted chocolate bar in the bottom of their clutch, I thought, proud that my disheveled artsy way of toting would prove to be an asset in this instance.

Into the house I swaggered just in time to hear the game facilitator announce that we would be rummaging through our purses for the most wifely items. Every item was something "every good wife should have" and would be worth 5 points. Perhaps my confidence took a slight hit at the understanding that I, not being a wife, could be at a slight disadvantage, but my deep wells of unmerited self assurance led me to believe that I would still prevail as the game's ultimate victor.

This ladies and gentleman is the list as it was called out and my subsequent defensive responses:

Item #1 a lipstick ("because every good wife should be prepared to look good for her man").  Ok that seems fair enough and I do have a lipstick in my car (I am not a complete barbarian) its just too bad I did not grab it for this game.
Item # 2 a shopping list (self explanatory) also something I might possibly have but just don't at the moment.
Item # 3 Reading Glasses ("to read your grocery list") Now I am starting to get a little incredulous, am I being penalized for being neither old nor visually disabled, because I don't believe in reverse descrimination but if I did I think I would be filing a bridal-shower lawsuit.
Item # 4 Tums ("because your husband always needs them") Ok, this is probably the reason why I will not get married. I am not even 100% sure what Tums do, but it sounds like it has something to do with something gross gone wrong in your body and I am never going to want to carry around somebody elses gross body problem medicine.
Item #5 Coupons ("because good wives are always looking for a deal") I too am always looking for a deal but I am not doing it in 1982. Who (other than my mother) clips and carries coupons around with them in the technological age?
Item # 6 a picture of your husband, boyfriend or parents.("because you need a reminder of your love" or somthing like that). Ok now I am raging a bit because as is clear from my ineptitude on numbers 1-5, I have neither a husband or boyfriend and If I were carrying around framed pictures of my parents I think that would explain why. Again penalized for finally beating the separation anxiety that crippled me for so many years? This is just getting cruel folks.

and finally,

Item # 7 A credit card ("because every good wife should have credit") YESSSSS I not only have a credit card, I have 2, Booyah I think to myself. And then ("however every good wife should also be prudent, so if  you have more than 1 credit card give yourself negative 2 points")

So, despite every effort on my part I ended the game husbandless, dignityless and in point debt. Here is the proof ...

This is my list along with single-lady Christina. The winner had 40 points.

Should we go ahead and join a convent now or maybe just start clipping some Tums Coupons? These are the sorts of questions that I take home with me at the end of each shower experience.

 What about you ladies and gents, how do you size up on this good-wife game? How many of the items do you have in your current purse, murse or genderless tote?

Give it up for...

So here's the deal. I've been having a hard time posting every week lately because I am currently working approximately 17 (or at least 3) jobs.  However, part of the reason for taking all those gigs is to ultimately make more room in my life for writing. So never fear fodder friends. A day is coming when words will be my number one priority, but until then sacrifice is a necessity.

And speaking of sacrificice...

I felt strongly about getting a post up today no matter how finesseless, because it is FAT tuesday which means tomorrow is the beginning of the Lenten season, of which I wanted to make everyone well aware.
Lent offers us a time not only to sacrifice but to slow down...because each sacrificial moment expands such that we might decide how we will behave differently now that some of our old vices have been taken off the table.

"If I can't watch T.V. how will I use those 4 hours?
"If I eliminate carbs from my diet, to what or whom will I turn for love?

I love lent for this reason. For the opportunity to investigate those things that have taken hold of us. For reclaiming a thought-life instead of maintaing habitualized action. And for ultimately filling the voids with prayer rather than potatoes or porn or some other p-word that is basically bad for you.

I hope you might quietly consider, if you haven't already, some form of abstinece or action that God might guide you through during this season.

Keep quiet about it, so as not to become like your friend who constantly brags about not having a T.V. (we get it dude, you are SO sophisticated) or how often he yogas (we get it dude you are so flexible)...Jesus knew that would be annoying so he commanded against it.

But try it.
Give it up for the least sexy church season of the year . Give it up for Lent!